Many of my friends and colleagues from across Atlantic celebrated Thanksgiving this Thursday. A holiday that, in a very plain way, could be explained as a holiday of gratitude. For the sake of properly managing the expectations, perhaps it is worth stating that my ambition here is not to introduce any rhetoric about whom this gratitude is expressed.
I am not a person of hard core traditions and life lived ‘by the book’. And I do not have a problem to openly admit how I am just a step away of honestly despising some of the holidays because of the consumerism idiocy evoked by the media pomp around them.
I do honor gratitude as a human quality. So I do have quite some respect for Thanksgiving as a holiday. It is nice at least once a year to pause for a while and look at your life without any complaints. It would be even nicer to live with this spirit every 365.25 days a year.
Let me share with you a couple of lines about my Black Friday 2020.
It started promising. After all - it’s Friday. I was about to visit our office after more than two months to meet for lunch with my boss when I got a message from my dear friend. She delivered her second baby that morning and all went fine. Photo of the little princess with her chubby cheeks was adorable.
After more than 2 weeks I have started my car and left the parking lot. I have immediately noticed that something is wrong. Parked again 200 m further only to realize that my right front tire is completely deflated. I had my appointment in just 30 minutes so I opted for an Uber. Arrived in time and entered the office only to realize that I had left my purse in the car. Uber car. Do not ask how this happened, please. I had two additional bags and it must have slipped from my hand. I have literally left my whole life in an Uber. Wallet with ID, driving licence, all bank cards. Mobile phone and apartment keys. Identityless, connectionless and moneyless I run out down to the reception asking them to call Uber service center. I truly respect elderly people but can anybody inform them what Uber is?! Receptionist did not have a clue what I am talking about. Thank heavens for peripheral vision as it allowed me to notice the silver Skoda Fabia slowly passing by the building. My Uber car!!!
Driver immediately noticed my bag and tried to call me. Just - my mobile was in the bag. He drove around the street waiting for me to come back and pick up my bag. I am not a religious person but the first sentence that crossed my lips was 'God bless you.'
‘It seems like today is not your day. I heard you speaking about your car on the phone… and now this. Just take care of yourself, ok?’ Thank You, Goran.
I had lunch and returned to solve the issue with my car. Service came within less than an hour. It seems that the valve was not properly done during winter tire installation two weeks ago. All to be checked on Monday when they resume work.
Glass of wine at the end of my Black Friday 2020.
So many things to be grateful for today, right? I agree and I choose to be thankful for my reactions to them. Better said - absence of it.
I believe that I have never been a high-tempered person. My mother disagrees with this statement and, since she has generously offered a couple of examples to prove her point, I am seriously thinking to pull back this statement. Truth to be told, there were quite some occasions when I got easily annoyed and did not shy away from expressing it. Nobody is perfect, right?
I could name a handful of people that would jokingly roll their eyes if I would mention Marcus Aurelius now. We share many philosophical moments as friends and colleagues so I usually pull out some of my favorite quotes. ‘Here we go again’ is a typical reaction.
‘Everything we hear is an opinion, not a fact. Everything we see is a perspective, not the truth.’ Marcus Aurelius, ‘Meditations’
I have a deep admiration for ancient philosophies that have successfully withstood the test of time and proved to be highly relevant to this day and age. Stoicism above all. I have tried to introduce more of it to my life since ages. Never felt that I would ever truly own it. Until today.
I am still taken aback by my behavior today. Positively surprised. Not a single swear word or raised voice. No desire to scream or cry. No feeling of being overwhelmed by the events that happened. Just a simple notion of the undeniable fact that this is all just life.
‘stoicism = the quality or behavior of a person who accepts what happens without complaining or showing emotion.’ Merriam-Webster definition
If I had not had a deflated tire, perhaps it would mean that I do not have a car.
If I had not gone to the office, I would not have left my purse in the car. But perhaps it would mean that I do not have a job.
If I had not left my purse in the Uber, I would not be reminded that kindness could be found everywhere around us.
If these Friday events would have not happened, perhaps I would not realize that even a short temper could be practiced to be longer.
Yes, everything is relative. And we should be thankful for that. It empowers us to define events and color them as we wish. Good or bad? It is totally up to us.
‘You have power over your mind – not outside events. Realize this, and you will find strength.’ Marcus Aurelius, ‘Meditations’
Pity that even after two Millennia so many people still don’t get it.
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